Tuesday

Once Upon A Time recap: A Curious Thing


This recap is late, late, late!




In the Enchanted Forest flashback, Regina is annoyed that Snow wants to tell the entire kingdom about her pregnancy when they have more important things to do, like defeat the Wicked Witch. Snow got knocked up, she didn't "invent the wheel," you know! But Snow's uterus must be magical, because Aurora and Phillip come clean about their knowledge that the Wicked Witch wants the spawn of Charming (and we all know their firstborn was the Savior). As punishment, the witch flies in on her broom — guys, the freaking broom — and turns Sleeping Beauty and her prince into flying monkeys. That makes them far more interesting than they were.

The gang tracks down the imprisoned Rumplestiltskin ("RUMPLE BUMPLE!"), who sends them in the direction of Glinda the Good Witch. Only those pure of heart can pass the portal to her lair of exile, meaning Regina has to wait while the Charmings get the goods. I shall call Glinda Judgy Wudgy, and Judgy Wudgy was a bear!

In Storybrooke, present day, Regina makes out with Robin and asks him what he sees in her. He says he sees a second chance — and she's a good kisser. A better answer is some variation of "your lips, your stunning intelligence, your fiery soul, dat ass." But he tells her she can use his heart for the both of them until she gets her back, which is damn romantic and parallels what happens later in the episode. They're so cute. And Lana Parrilla gets prettier every episode. I ship them.

The gang realizes that to break the current curse, they need to get Henry's memories back, because his belief in magic is the missing element so his mom can give him True Love's Kiss as opposed to regular mom kisses that don't restore lost memories. To get him believing, they needed The Book. One day, before I'm cold in my grave, they'll explain who wrote the book and where it came from. It's the central mythological artifact of the series and makes zilch sense.

There were two twists I never saw coming: that Regina would be the one to break Zelena's curse with True Love's Kiss, and that it was Snow who cast the Dark Curse this time. You know, the one that requires you to crush the heart of the thing you love most.

Snow MURDERED Charming. Just no. I can't suspend my disbelief that Little Miss There's Always Hope would accept that killing her husband was the only way to defeat the witch without putting much more of a fight. The shock value was intense, but it just seems so out of character. In some seriously ridiculous Frankenstein logic, even for a show that features Dr. Frankenstein as a character, Regina rips out Snow's heart and gives half of it to Charming so he can be revived. Basic anatomy? Nah dude, eff you. That's for people who bathe in the river and use pine cones for money.

This episode moved a lot of plot along. I was happy to see Neal again. It was cool how he fought his way out of Rumplestiltskin to send Hook the message to retrieve Emma and give her a memory potion. Seeing more of what a good man he was makes it more poignant when the now restored Henry visits his father's grave. But hey, he's got Robin Hood and Hook as potential stepfathers! Although Hook is in the dog house with Emma right now, but I'm sure he'll do some grand heroic redemption by the season's end.

Next episode, we meet Dorothy! I find it very curious that she's being introduced in the same episode the Charming spawn is born. Could she possibly be the Charming baby, lost in time and space? This show is wacky enough to do that.

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