Once Upon A Time recap: Bleeding Through

Steamy makeout sessions we didn't see coming stole the show from flashback-inducing ghost possessions on this week's Once Upon A Time.

The Wicked Witch visits baby sis Regina to distract her with green apples ("Red apples are so sickly sweet, don't you think?") while puppet Rumple steals her heart. When I saw last week that Zelena would get the Evil Queen's heart, I was very worried how she'd take it from its protector, Robin Hood. Had she hurt the Merry Man, we wouldn't have been treated to that soul searing kiss at the end! My guess was she'd shapeshift into Regina to trick Robin, but they took the more interesting (and agitating) route of having Rumple threaten cutie babe Roland. Don't worry, Robin. Your girl will forgive you.

Losing her heart really lit a fire under Regina's butt. If Zelena hadn't crushed it and killed her, that meant that she was going to use it for something far worse, which our resident bookworm-with-teeth Belle discovers is a time travel spell. Regina begins to prepare for a seance to talk to Big Momma, which leads to terrifying Ghost Cora punching Regina out and possessing preggers Snow.

We don't need any time travel spells to look into the past. In the flashback, we see a Young Cora fighting off drunken pervs as a barmaid and then getting tricked into the bed of a gardener pretending to be a prince, which is how she gets knocked up with Greenie. A chance encounter with Prince Leopold, aka Snow's daddy, leads to their engagement, which leads to Princess Eva, aka Snow's mommy, dropping the baby bomb and ruining it all. She gives birth to the Wicked Witch, and leaves her in a field with the refrain about "best chances" repeated by every parent on this show who abandoned their kid — except in this case, Cora is about giving herself her own best chance, her child be damned. I'm not sure where in the timeline this fits with the flour-spilling incident we saw back in "The Miller's Daughter," but that must have come after the broken engagement, which explains why Cora got so worked up over Eva tripping her. Snow and Regina's drama has some Hatfield/McCoy-deep roots.

Creepy realization: Cora pimped out her daughter to her own ex-fiance. Holy grossness.

At Granny's, Emma flirts with Hook by showing off her newfound magic, but he doesn't get as much of a kick out of her hot cocoa teleporting and hook stealing. It's that whole not being able to kiss her because it'll steal her power detail that he's neglected to share with her. On the subject of Emma's magic, does anyone else think she's the OUAT counterpart of Glinda the Good Witch, the way Rumple stands in for the Beast? We just need her in a shimmery lilac dress to really push the point.

Where is the Wicked Witch during the ghost-busting and cocoa teleporting? Entertaining a cleaned-up Rumplestiltskin over dinner, wine and promises that once her spell is complete, he can go back in time and save his now-dead son Baelfire. Rumple then wraps Zelena in a surprisingly passionate embrace. The kiss may have been a ruse to try to steal back the dagger that the witch is using to control him, but we've never seen that kind of intensity when he kisses Belle. Hot damn. I almost feel bad for Zelena, who looks heartbroken at the tease as she sends the Dark One "Back to your cage, doll."

But the Zelena/Rumple kiss wasn't the hottest moment of the episode. That distinction belongs to Robin Hood and Regina. While cleaning up the wreckage of summoning Cora, Snow and Regina have a breakthrough conversation. It's the most vulnerable and honest we've seen the two characters at the center of this show's conflict. Snow and Regina have hurt each other their entire lives, but those hurts bind them. They have more in common than they realized, and maybe now they are ready to move on. Regina confides that happiness doesn't seem for her. But Snow believes otherwise. Regina doesn't even need her heart to feel deeply. "With or without it, you feel things with your whole soul," Snow says.

Snow's encouragement about Regina being able to find happiness is a callback to Zelena's heckling that she never will because she doesn't take risks. It sinks in. Regina marches into the woods and silences Robin Hood's apologies about losing her heart with a kiss that made me shriek so loud, I think my upstairs neighbors got spooked. I could have devoted this whole review to that kiss, girl that I am. Now Regina has more to lose than ever, but she also has new hope of happiness for which to fight.

EDIT: So the next episode will introduce Glinda the Good Witch, and it's not Emma. You know, I still like my idea better. Ya'll should save some of your casting budget and throw it at your much-maligned CGI or something.

1 comment :

  1. Thank you! They flex different writing muscles. And I work when the show is on, so I hate knowing everyone else has watched it and I have to wait until the morning!