Friday

My idea of sexy, Part 2: Bring in the boys!

When I wrote "My idea of sexy," I wanted to talk about how my ideals about attractiveness and femininity were shaped in my formative years, and look at the images that I found positive and empowering, not the ones that made me feel insecure and inadequate.

This time around, I'm just going to objectify men. I'm sort of kidding. There will be objectification herein, yes indeed, but you know I like getting psychoanalytical and deconstruct my psyche for you. I'll try to do more than drool.

First up, an appetizer we can all agree to share:

The Ryans




Gosling and Reynolds. Either would do nicely. Ryan Gosling is a flawless diamond of a man who speaks highly of his exes and whose face has become the backdrop for a feminist meme. He's the man who gave us "It wasn't over for me. It still isn't over!" and made us want to make out in the rain, foundation melting all over our dress fronts. Ryan Reynolds is the darling goofball who you can just imagine is as in love with love as his character in my favorite movie, Definitely Maybe, counting Alanis Morissette and Scarlett Johansson as paramours. That movie puts Reynolds in the winner's spot for me, although you can't watch Crazy Stupid Love and not sort of hate Emma Stone for getting to crawl all over Gosling.

Jared Leto



He was Jordan Catalano. I shouldn't have to expand on this. He was the '90s embodiment of every woman's high school one-who-got-away. He's got an amazing singing voice and makes me want to tackle my guy and attack him with guyliner.

Jon Stewart



Whip-smart and funny as hell. He's a charismatic man who speaks truth to power and idiocy and looks damn good in a suit. The only problem is you'd have to bust your butt to keep up with his intellect and encyclopedic knowledge of pop culture (or at least that of his writing team). But I love a challenge.

Seth Rogen



I have a thing for the funny chubby guys. I do. I actually think Seth is a cutie pie with a fantastic smile and warm eyes, but a man who can make me laugh so hard I feel like I'm doing pilates is off-the-charts attractive to me. And he's got a hot wife who made one of the most incredible, obscene comedic lovefests I've ever been privileged to watch, For A Good Time, Call..., which made me want to just run away to Hollywood and become a screenwriter. I might just cozy up to him to get an intro!

Johnny Depp




At my job before this, I got to write an entertainment and celebrity sightings column. New Mexico became a hotbed of film and TV projects because of the state's tax incentives, and I declared a Johnny Depp Watch while he was in and around Santa Fe filming The Lone Ranger. I'm still devastated that I never saw him out and about, and believe me, I LOOKED. His versatility as an actor is mesmerizing. I have fond memories of this picture of him (love a bad boy, me) gracing the front of one of my binders in high school.

So now you know what Lizzie likes. Smoldering good looks, a wicked and raunchy sense of humor, a brain you just want to lick, and just a little bit of an edge. Being really talented and passionate about something is a bonus.

6 comments :

  1. Johnny Depp is so impressive with the variety of characters he can be! But he's literally several years older than my father. That's a little old, even for my taste. :P Between the Ryans, my favorite has always been Reynolds.

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  2. Break me off a piece of Jared Leto!

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  3. gimme summa ryan reynolds!! both of them are canadian :) ryan gosling's mom was in the same graduating class as my friend and he was at her convocation (at brock university) with eva mendes. my friend texted OMFG RYAN GOSLING IS HERE FOR HIS MOM!!! the great thing is that while everyone was star struck, they all kept their distance out of respect since he was there for his mother and didn't swarm him (like i would have because duh, it's ryan gosling! LOL)

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  4. They both seem like such good boys. That story is so cute. I can't imagine if you'd been there. Call security! Call for backup security! GET A SWAT TEAM!

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  5. He just seems so young, though! He certainly likes his women young! I kind of want to see him in Transcendence, but it looks creepy.

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