Sh*t Men Say

Voyage of the Mee Mee

Let me state for the record that I desperately love Amanda. I once told her that I'd blate her so hard and then blarry the hell out of her. If she told me to jump, I'd say, "How high, and shall I bring you a soda on my way back down?" She's just a cool chick.

So of course I'm doing the link-up she's running with Duh! Danae! The hiccup is the menfolk in my life were all pretty busy talking me down from a prolonged anxiety attack recently to say anything too ridiculous. Or I just wasn't paying attention. Or, as my guy friend said when I was complaining about having nothing to write about, "Just slap a short intro on there about how awesome your men are and post it up."

And while they are awesome, they are also funny and ridiculous. I like to think that's because I'm funny and ridiculous and they follow my example. Here are some recent hits:

My husband
On housework:
Me: "Babe, just relax!"
Eric: "No, this place must be spotless for the child!" (Editor's note: We don't have a child, nor are we expecting one. But Eric says we need to stop being slobs before we even think of procreating, so that and thrift shopping are his new jams.)

My bestie in Pittsburgh
On an awful person: "Mah. He's a pissant fuckface shitheel. I'm turning in, but I mean it — he's a potato bug."

My bestie who happens to be gay
On Jeremy Renner formerly being a makeup artist: "I don't know if he's fap worthy. Ryan Gosling knitting ... that's what I'm talking about."

On Jennifer Lawrence's Golden Globes dress: "I'm not a fan of the bridal bondage look."

And that's all that's fit to print. I'll take better notes next time! Stay sexy, don't be a potato bug.


  1. Umm your best friend just made the most awesome insult that is great! Thanks for linking up!

  2. "He's a pissant fuckface shitheel" <-- i love this!!!!! hahahhah

    Vodka and Soda

  3. Eff yeah, thanks for setting it up!

  4. This is going to stroke his ego!

  5. Gurl. You know I won't turn down a Coke. ;)
    "Mah. He's a pissant fuckface shitheel. I'm turning in, but I mean it — he's a potato bug." I don't know what a potato bug is BUT I'll be using it in the future! hahaha

  6. Pissant Fuckface Shitheel is awesome!

  7. Bridal bondage look? bahahahaha!!! I would also blate and blarry the hell out of Amanda (isn't she so freaking funny?)

  8. Yeah half of mine wasn't fit to print too lol

  9. If they filtered themselves for printing, then it wouldn't be as funny! Paradox.

  10. She is absurdly funny. But should we stop loving up on @Amanda MeeMee before she gets a big ol' smug head potato bug?

  11. I laugh at it more every time I look at it.

  12. They're real and they're disgusting. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jerusalem_cricket

  13. That is some funny stuff. and i would totally embrace the idea of a husband who wants to clean, and thrift.