Loosing my curls: Am I doing this right? + BackThatAzzUp

About a month ago, I decided to quit the creamy crack and grow out my relaxer, setting my curls free after 17 years of straightening.

So far, I feel like I'm doing it all wrong.

It's hard to be stoked about my curls when my hair is still straight. Even when I style it curly to experiment with techniques I'll use after my transition, I know that the result doesn't necessarily reflect what my hair will look like naturally.

But I press on, or rather, I don't. I've barely used my flatiron. What I've been pleased to discover is that I don't really love my hair when it's straight. It looks flat and boring. It's a pain to get it looking right. When I curl it, there's no concern about a hair being out of place because they are all out of place. 

The bizarre thing is, I love how my hair looks, but I have yet to think I look good with my hair curly. I feel like there's just so much of me now — big hair, big glasses — and I resent feeling like I have to change my makeup and jewelry, too. Otherwise, I look like this:

Just NO
That screenshot is from a video I refused to upload, because I think I just look cray as hell. WTF, Lizzie? 

Maybe I just need to get comfortable with my new look.

As for styling. Like I mentioned, I flatiron very rarely. I use a curling iron sometimes to define curls, but I hold it for maybe five seconds as opposed to the 30+ I used to do. (I'm trying to not become addicted to a curling iron in place of a straightening iron.) I've been using overpriced but sort of awesome Curlformers on damp hair and sitting under a dryer instead of my previous blow dry and flatiron routine when I wash my hair. Basically, you take a section of your hair, put it on a hook, and feed it through a twisty tube while trying to not yank it right off your scalp. I also tried sleeping with the Curlformers in. NEVER AGAIN. No one should have to try to sleep through such pain. I'm co-washing more often (using a cleansing conditioner instead of shampoo) and just doing anything I can to strengthen the relaxed hair.

The reason? Where the relaxed hair meets new growth, or the line of demarcation, is fragile and prone to breakage. Since I'm doing a long transition and not chopping off the relaxed part, because I'm scared of having short hair, it's in my best interest to prevent breakage along the fragile point and ending up with short hair anyway. As I write this, a vague image of a dream I think I had last night is springing up. I think I had a nightmare that I was losing giant chunks of my hair. Brain, why you hate me? I had similar awful dreams about teeth when I had braces.

I have so much to learn about products. I'm baffled every time I reach for a bottle. Like, hairspray: good or bad? I have no clue! I hope it's not too bad, since I've been using a quarter of a can on it to hold my curls in place.

In other news, it's FRIDAY! That means nothing to your journo pal Liz, because I'm off Wednesday and Thursday, making today my Monday. But I'm still going to #backthatazzup with I Wore Yoga Pants.

I live for 16-year-old musical genius and icon in the making Lorde and her clever roasting of hip hop culture, Royals.

Royals by Lorde on Grooveshark

Let me be your ruler. You can call me Queen Bee.

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